Q:Hey Jack. How do I get over this intense lack of self-worth
I think it’s fairly typical to have a less than positive view of yourself in this day and age. There’s a lot about us that people look at and view with negativity. You’re an old soul, Martin. You always struck me as kind and considerate and friendly, and I think that I speak for a lot of others when I say that. As I have said to a few others, you have an amazing capability to love and be loved, and that’s such a great thing. I have a feeling that a therapist would tell you to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are a good person and people do in fact like you, every day, before you go out into the world. Which, by the way, is very true.
You just have to start believing it, friend.
Q:how do I let go? Of everything negative, and inhibitions, fears, anxiety.
Get rich or die trying.
Seriously, though, it’s almost impossible to lose those things. You have a good partner, a good family, and a very good start on a career. There’s a lot to build on there. You have to try to stay even, keep a normal and manageable schedule, and live within your means. Money is always an issue as an adult and there is no getting around that, but if you can keep things otherwise settled, you’ll get through a lot.
I think a lot of you and I think you’ll be okay. It gets better as you get older, too, just so you know.
Sam Isaac - Fire
If we can’t set fire to anything
Then what’s the point in being scared
Q:Hi Jack, I could use some advice. Do I have too many clothes and how do I go about giving a fuck about anything else? Yours truly, Fashionably fuck free in Ohio
My sister has bought a LOT of clothes and shoes since she moved back to London, and I think she deserves to get whatever she wants. We don’t get a lot of years on this Earth, so you have to do what makes you the happiest.
You have a great fashion sense, too. If clothes are your thing, then that’s your thing and you keep doing what you want. You’ve earned it.
Q:I'm looking for a fella. Where can I find one worthy of me?
I thought about this one a long time, too.
I think with the size of your heart and the strength of your character, you’re being sought. I think you have a lot to offer and I think you’re destined for greatness.
Alternatively, try the grocery store, the library, and there are a surprising number of gentlemen in electronics stores during the daytime hours.
Q:Is the higher ground always the best choice? How do I not choose the low ground when it seems like other assholes who do fare better?
The higher ground is not always the best choice, but I think the actual answer is it’s always the RIGHT choice.
You’re the one that has to deal with the fallout. You’re the one that has to be able to sleep at night. You’re the one that has to look in the mirror. If you can do that while taking the low road, I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors. I am FAR from a good person, and I don’t claim to know what’s best for anyone other than maybe getting a thing or two right along the way for me. I think as I get older, I try to do what I can to do the right thing and I’ve realized that it’s seldom the easiest thing, what’s right. I’d rather challenge myself to not take the low road. That doesn’t work for everyone. It’s a complicated world. You have to do what you feel is right and learn from your mistakes.
I hope things get better, anon.
Q:Jack, hie do I get over this fear of intimacy?
I thought about this a long time.
I think the biggest thing for you is to be honest with yourself and with whomever you choose to spend your time with. Express your feelings, don’t be afraid to tell someone what you’re thinking or feeling or what your wishes are. From my point of view, dating someone with terminal cancer opened my eyes to someone who didn’t have time to play games or be coy about what she wanted. She was direct and brutally honest at times, and it helped me understand her much more quickly. Obviously, that’s not a typical situation, but I think the outline of it makes sense. It makes things so much easier if both parties are open and willing to listen AND learn from what is said. Intimacy comes from the little things and the big things. You have to be able to trust your person. You have to trust them enough to open up to them and be honest with them and you have to expect that they will be the same way with you. Do not pester someone for information but make sure they know that you ask questions because you genuinely care and want to understand them because of that caring feeling.
You have time, though. You’ll break a few eggs along the way. Be willing to put your hand out there and let someone take it in theirs. You will get there because you want to. Lean on your instincts and remember that someone who is worth your time will accept every part of you.
I hope this helped, even a bit.
Q:How do I people?
If you go in with no expectations, everything is a pleasant surprise.
Yosie likes to ask questions in bunches!
From bottom to top: Yes, it’s that time. All-knowing might be overstating it SLIGHTLY, though.
I did not have a career in porn, but I have made a career out of fucking things up.
I’m good. Keeping my head down as much as possible. How are you?
The xx - Together
I said it’s been a long time
Since someone looked at me that way
It’s like you knew me
And all the things I couldn’t say